My Life, My Choices: A Rant Sparked By The Disapproving Look My Grandmother Gave Me When She Saw I Had Cut My Hair Once Again
It is incredible how quick people are to pass judgment on others. People constantly tell you to “be yourself”, but when you are, they disapprove.
I’ve never known how to react to such things, I don’t know whether to feel amused or frustrated. No matter what kind of decision you make or what kind of change you go through with your appearance, people will judge and they will let you know.
I remember when I first cut my hair two years ago, I was extremely happy. I was so proud of myself because I had wanted short hair for a really, really long time and finally I had been able to scrape together some courage. I loved it from day 1. I got to school the next day and people started talking. When you change something about your appearance so radically, people are bound to notice and form their opinion on it, which is completely fine, don’t get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. People start to voice their opinion, negative as well as positive. And as much the latter makes me happy, I have to ask myself what exactly they’re achieving by pointing out the negative.
- “Don’t you think your face is too square for short hair?”
- “I don’t want to be mean, but I liked the long hair better…” (If your sentence starts with ‘I don’t want to be mean, but…’, better shut your mouth right away, because I know you’re about to insult me.)
- “Well…hair grows, right?”
And the thing is, I was 16 when I got it cut. Things like that would actually get me down. Looking back on it now, I can’t help but facepalm myself, because who the fuck are they to tell me if it looks good or not? I did it for myself, I didn’t do it for them. And then they asked me: ‘Why did you cut it?’ without realizing I don’t owe them an answer, I don’t have to justify my decisions.
The same goes for my make-up. Yes, I like to wear make-up. A lot. I don’t like my face without make-up, make-up gives me confidence. People judge me for it but what they don’t know is that I’ve had problems with my skin ever since I can remember. This is no attempt at gaining sympathy or fishing for compliments, it’s a fact. When I was about 12, my skin started breaking out terribly and by the time I was 15, my confidence was non-existant. I didn’t know about what a MAC foundation could do back then, so I used to just cry about it. I used to obsess over my flaws, especially my skin, and sometimes I wouldn’t leave the house, solely because I was disgusted with how I was looking. Still today, I have problems with my skin, but I know how to hide it and make myself look presentable. And people judge. Why do I wear so much make-up, I’d be so much more attractive if I was all natural. But my skin is my biggest insecurity. And if all it takes to make myself feel better is waking up 15 minutes earlier to apply my make-up, then that’s what I am going to do.
The thing is, this is my life. These are my choices. I am not forcing you to cut your hair short. I am not forcing you to apply make-up. This is what I do, this is what I want to do. You need to get into your head that your opinion doesn’t matter, that you stating your opinion does not affect me, just like my decisions do not affect you or anything in your life.
To end this little rant with the wise words of Rudy Wade:
If you’ve nothing constructive to say, then please, man, shut the fuck up.